“I can’t tell if i’ve shit myself or if my ass is just sweaty,” Jack heard me sneer as i adjusted the selt belt over my lap. My first mistake was that i wore jeans this morning. It’s autumn, you know, but it’s also Texas so instead of it being a throttling 100 degrees its only a mere 80 degrees — enough for swamp ass to take full effect even if there is a breeze. Mind you i was never much of a lady, i recall my friend pat often telling me that he wouldn’t invite me to dinner with the queen of England in a hurry; but we both know that it would be a hell of a time up until we both got hauled out and put in the tower of London. I see him now standing by the window, letting the sun warm his face with the breeze blowing his white hair away from his eyes.
“Oh Izzie,” he’d say to me whilst he swayed his large glass of Chardonnay around, the drink sloshing occasionally over the side and onto his shoes. “You have such a way with words your ladyship.” The sarcasm in his voice was not for a moment, lost on me. Good man the commodore.
However, i fear that i digress. There will be other days for the adventures of two salts getting into trouble, maybe it’ll be a childrens book sometime — that is explicitly not for children because i really like the words fuck, shit and arse. Nevertheless, without further ado, in honour of the spookiest month of the year, i bring you news. I’m sure most of you haven’t checked out my new website so i’ll assume you haven’t seen my post under the writing tab. And thus — the good news! Right now i’m working on an exciting new submission which i will be submitting to a Short Story competition in late November. I won’t say too much aside from it’s dark and theres a boat. I haven’t written a short story since i was sixteen so we’ll see how it turns out. I’m assuming it’ll get rejected of course, but it’ll be written nonetheless and if need be, submitted to whatever place will have it. Ha.